Christmas is a time of hope. A time to set aside differences. To celebrate the renewal of the human spirit. And a time to avoid three groups of moaning gits: teetotal Christians, hipster atheists and Sparkies.
time to enjoy putting jam (cranberry jelly) on
, grandma’s flatulence, the Pogues, uncomfortable new clothes. Turkey
Don't watch too many Christmas adverts, they are nothing to do with Christmas, they only want to sell you stuff you don’t need.
What did you get??? A telephone with a camera in it? A camera with a telephone in it?
Have fun explaining how Immaculate Conception works to your kids.
Please don’t point out that, while the Nativity is, of course, a holy and wonderful thing, Easter, with its centrepiece of betrayal, torture and crucifixion, is more spiritually rewarding.
Happy Christmas to the Atheists who think its all "disgusting" or "dangerously deluded".
Christmas is a time when believers and atheists hold a ceasefire; the centre ground is given over to the vast majority of people who hold no firm convictions either way.
Let's face it, it still is. I suspect we massively underestimate the level of agnosticism among churchgoers and God-deniers. The traditional agnostic version of the Christmas story – some sort of special baby born in a stable, vaguely symbolising hope for the human race if we could just get along with one another. Is that so bad?
The more atheists mock the Nativity as a fairy story, the more sense it makes. The more Christians sneer at Christmas as a vulgar secularised holiday with drinks, the better it sounds. Life's a wobbly conga of uncertainty anyway, with or without Mulled wine & tinsel.
All we can say is please, please just enjoy yourself and we hope you realise just how lucky you are…
No more hate groups on Facebook
stay away from Twitter - #stopmoaningaboutXmas
Are we better or worse off than we used to be? Was Christmas Past really more fun? Does it really matter, just enjoy it.