a tale of woe with Broken sockets and mayonnaise used for medical purposes.
A couple jailed for neglecting five of their children have been branded "inadequate, stupid, stubborn and reckless" by a judge.
Nine children lived in unhygienic conditions. Bedrooms smelt of urine and animal faeces and mattresses were soiled, Gloucester Crown Court heard.
The pair from Gloucestershire were due be sentenced last week but it was delayed after they took an overdose.
The mother was sentenced to two years nine months; the father for two years.
The court heard the couple cared for the children - all of them the mother's - but only the youngest three were fathered by her husband.
At an earlier hearing, the pair pleaded guilty to neglecting five children, between 2007 and 2012. The ages of the children ranged from a baby to a young teenager.
The children were reported as often being dirty and smelly and suffered badly with head lice infestations, which the mother told police she had treated with mayonnaise.
It was after the youngest child was admitted to hospital with severe nappy rash, which had left ulcers on the child's skin, that police arrested the couple.
When officers searched the house they found it in an unhygienic state - carpets and walls were filthy, rubbish and clothes were strewn everywhere and a plug socket was left hanging out of the wall.
In a child's bedroom, ivy had come in from outside and was growing across the wall.
I honestly think you should need to pass an exam before you are allowed to have children.